Thursday, August 8, 2013

Dear Diary (I miss you, my loved ones)

Dear Diary,
   I am missing dad &mom today, and since I'm missing loved ones I miss granny & grandma Clara too. I miss sitting on the bed every night and talking with granny (and then later mother). I guess like mother like daughter. I just miss that they listened. No advice, no judging JUST LISTENED! Both taken way too young. Mom had always said she would die young ( I think in some ways she was ready to go to heaven) My mother taught me so much before she left and so much I didn't understand. As I get older the more I understand.
   My mind is racing, I don't know what to write about. I don't even know what to think. My mind is ADHD. I feel so hyper in my mind. WOW ... crazy racing thoughts. Not anything back I just can't focus on any "one" thing. I can't finish any thought or conversation. WHY can I not stay on track. Is this b/c of the grief? I don't think so b/c I know I have had trouble before staying focused. OK...slow down ....take a breath. Now another one. Ok, back to what I want to write.
     I have been thinking about cards & letters ... this could be a ministry I am sure of that. I know that the cards I have received have been so healing to my soul & spirit. I have always loved the idea of romantic love letters (and having a stack of them in a box to read over & over. Thinking of writing a letter to my children (one for each of them) that's a lot of work but when I'm gone it would mean so much to them. LOVE LETTERS & videos Of How much I love them. (I WISH I HAD ONE OF MOM SAYING I LOVE YOU) Manual, Jordan said the other day daddy didn't leave him a manual so maybe I can make one ??? maybe digital ? Digital will not take up as much room

Not sure if these thoughts are for daily page or book ? Guess we will wait to see.

NEW THOUGHT:  traditions
NEW THOUGHT: Family Fun Night
That's all folks ~ Tracy

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